bizarre things

Teruntuk Arin, Maybe I don’t travel as much as people in my age. They sure have been traveled a lot to many cities, even countries. And here I am, don’t even leave Java for two years. But that doesn’t mean I know things as much as them, I know, because I see. What do I see? Well, I do know that there are bad and good people in this messy place we lived in called the Earth. And those who are quite neutral, for example, me . And it seems like humans always have times to talking about the bad people, not realizing that by spreading hate by talking about it is also make them one of the bad people. And that makes good people are so rare, and, God, do we deserve them? Do we deserve good people in this, uh, world? Like I said, I don’t travel that much, but I’m certain that I’ve met some of that good people. As examples; I have a  friend who doesn’t tell anyone about her something-I-rather-not-mention  was stolen just because she thought it would hurts the feeli...

yo ya girl's back. for everyone out there who was or currently is in a battle whether with any circumstances, people or even themselves : everything is going to be alright. maybe not today. but eventually. definitely. absolutely. don't set a goal that 2018 will be your year, fuck that! EVERY YEAR IS YOUR YEAR, you deserve to be in a spotlight! xxx, biya.

"Hah? Kamu putus lagi sama pacar kamu? Yang cantik itu?" Lelaki di hadapanku hanya berdeham sambil mengusap wajahnya yang kian hari terlihat lebih dewasa. Ia kemudian menatapku sembari tersenyum tipis. "Kan aku yang putus, kenapa kamu yang repot?" tanyanya ringan.  Entah kenapa siang ini rumah makan langganan kami cukup sepi, padahal biasanya selalu ramai karena karyawan berbondong-bondong datang untuk makan siang. Karena suasana itulah aku dapat mendengar tawa renyahnya dengan jelas. Aku mengeryitkan dahi. "Udah empat kali kamu pacaran dan empat kali juga kamu putus tahun ini, nggak capek? Masa sih, dari semua mantan-mantan kamu nggak ada satu pun yang bikin kamu bener-bener cinta?" "Ada," balasnya cepat denga penuh keyakinan. "Siapa?" "Kamu," jawabnya asal. Bagaimana aku tahu dia hanya menjawab asal? Dia bahkan tidak menatapku saat berkata demikian. Aku mendengus kasar. "Aku bukan mantan...

"Aku siap menerimamu; Baik burukmu. Titip salam untuk semua yang telah meninggalkanmu. Bilang pada mereka, terima kasih telah melepaskanmu. Cara mereka pergi dan mengakhiri hubungan denganmu itu, ternyata menjadi awal l angkahku terhenti dari segala pelarian panjangku." — kamu, dulu sekali *** Berjalan sejauh-jauhnya darimu, memikul-mikul rindu dalam ransel usang yang dulu pernah kau dekap. Berniat melatih diri untuk membelakangi memori kebersamaan kita, walau tetap saja melekat ikut denganku kemana-mana. Dalam perjalananku, Aku menyusuri ramai jejak suara yang bising di telinga namun sunyi di dada. Kusaksikan jari-jari yang menggenggam benda tak bernyawa erat-erat, — seperti kita untuk satu sama lain. debat pembeli dan penjual yang sama-sama keras kepala, — seperti kita untuk amarah yang tak perlu. bau bumbu masakan yang berkali-kali dipanaskan karena tak kunjung laku — seperti kita yang bertahan hanya karena terlanjur lama bersama. Juga seperti...

Siapa peduli soal kantung mata dan jejak tangis? Mungkin orang-orang akan membicarakanmu, tapi semuanya baik-baik saja. Ada aku kalau-kalau kamu menangis pulang sekolah nanti. Saat itu mungkin udara tidak sedingin pagi ini dan aku tidak akan punya alibi untuk memelukmu lagi. Saat itu mungkin kamu berkata kamu ingin mati lagi. Dan aku akan memintamu untuk berhenti dalam hati. Dan aku akan terus mengalihkan perhatianmu, supaya kamu tidak mati, tidak sekarang— karena kalau kamu pergi, siapa yang harus kulindungi? Siapa yang harus kupeluk pagi-pagi buta dan kuhalangi untuk bunuh diri? Kalau bukan kamu, lalu siapa yang harus kucintai? Jadi biar saja kita bangun untuk rasa sakit yang sama dan kepengecutan tiap kali kabur dari tempat tidur. Ayo kita terbang bersama-sama. Asal untuk cinta, sebagai satu-satunya amunisi melawan dunia, kenapa tidak?

October never been this special in past sixteen years of my life. Or should I say, before I met you. *** As a person who believed in Myer Briggs personality type instead of zodiac, I didn't believe what my sign said in first week of April. " Asmara : You will meet the love of your life !" I laughed as I read that part. (Wait why did I read that thing though?) Why would I meet the love of my life when I have met one? At least that's what I thought with my ex's face crossed in my mind. You know, this conservative girl didn't even understand what does 'love of her life' means. You have new message . What's gotten into whoever lined me? I just stared stupidly to my phone screen until I decided that I had to read that message because someone could be dying wanted a reply. 'Biy, laporan dong.' Dude, what? Who's Akbar K.H though? Did I know him? 'laporan apa?' I replied True, right? Why would someone I didn't kn...

I miss you, and not in a "it's three in the morning, I'm so lonely and pathetic, looking through old pictures" kind of way. I miss you, but in a "my friends are all laughing, and so am I, but somehow you still haven't left my mind" kind of way. I miss you, and not in a "someone asked me how you were today and I realized I didn't know the answer"  kind of way. I miss you, but in a "nobody has ever brought you up in months, but I still tell stories about you."  kind of way. I miss you. And I don't just miss the idea of you. But I miss you .